Monday, September 28, 2009

Dear Will,

I can’t even believe that I’ve spent half a year with you. In the weird way that time works, it seems like longer and shorter all in the same second. You’ve gone from this tiny, helpless bundle into a babbling, rolling, sitting-up little baby. You have likes and dislikes, you have the sweetest personality. You’re so precious to me!

In half a year, we’ve gone from:

this                                                                                                  to this.

Oh, where does the time go? I’m so lucky to be your Mommy, sweet boy. I hope you know just how much I enjoy it. I love your that you’ve started giving me wet, open mouth kisses. I absolutely adore them, even the slimed face I get afterward! I love your fake coughs, the way you say “Ahhooo!” if you can’t get a sneeze out, and how completely excited you get about tearing up napkins. You’re so passionate about all the little things our day holds and you put your entire heart into doing activities. You splash your heart out during bathtime until your eyelashes are dripping with water and then you look up at me and grin. You reach with all your might to grab things off the table during dinner and you are a very enthusiastic eater. You know our daily routine well, but if we stray from it, it’s no big deal. You’re so easy going and happy-go-lucky and I love that about you. I hope that never changes.

You’re still wearing 3-6 month clothes, but I’m mixing in more and more of your 6-9 month clothes every day. You graduated to size 2-3 diapers and are somewhere around 18 pounds and 28-29 inches long. So far you’ve had rice cereal (okay), oatmeal (good), bananas (great), avocado (okay), pears (fantastic), sweet potatoes (good), butternut squash (okay), peaches (fantastic), plums (fantastic), apples (great), green beans (okay), nectarines (fantastic), and puffs (okay). If I’m having an apple for a snack, you love to gum a slice of apple to death while I eat mine. You make “mmm mmm mmm” noises while you’re chomping and it’s just so dang cute! You sleep in your crib for a 5-8 hour stretch and then come snuggle in bed between Mommy and Daddy. I’m sure you’d go back to sleep in your crib if I rocked you, but I love having you snuggle up close to me for part of the night. You’re an expert at sitting up and rarely topple over anymore, you roll both directions (though you roll back to belly much easier than belly to back) and you’re fascinated with patterns on fabric. You enjoy the Exersaucer and Jumperoo, but you’re also content to sit on my lap while I eat breakfast and watch Ellen. It’s still hard to get laughs and giggles out of you, but man, when I do, I could listen all day! You have the cutest chuckle and I love your gummy grin!

The toes on your left foot curl over each other (as evidenced by the above photo), and it makes me laugh! You love your doggie (security blanket) and your brown/blue striped blankets. You’re addicted to your pacifier and have perfected the art of putting it into your mouth backward. You love hugs, you love it when your Daddy gives you kisses on your neck, you love to pet the dogs, you love taking jogs with Mommy, you love bathtime, and you love reading your Bible at night…you seriously just seem to love life. It is such a joy for your Daddy and I to see you delight in the little things that we take for granted every day. You are always in the moment and I envy you for that. I know that you’re like that because you are a baby, but it’s something that I hope you never lose. All too often we spend too much time looking foward to the future or remembering the past and we forget to soak up every ounce of goodness in the life we’re living NOW.

This time next year, you’ll be a running, walking, jumping, talking 18-month-old and I know I’m going to look back at this letter and a small piece of my heart is going to ache that my baby is growing up. But each day that you grow, my heart grows with love for you. Six months ago I didn’t even have a clue what it meant to be your Mommy. I remember staring down at you while you slept on my chest, your little breaths warm on my neck, and being overcome with this overwhelming love for you. It was a type of love that I never even knew existed in human form…I’d known you for barely a day and I was knocked over by these powerful emotions. All I wanted was more time with you so I could stare at you, watch you breathe, and pour my love over you. Not too much has changed six months later. I still stare at you and delight in the deliciousness of you. I still watch you breathe (and always check to make sure you’re still breathing before I go to bed). I still want to drench you in my love until you’re dripping with it; I hope you never doubt just how much I love you. And I still just want more time with you, even if that time comes at 3:00 in the morning. I am so, so proud of you Will. Your life is so meaningful. Your life has brought your Daddy and I closer. Your life has brought my family and I closer. Your life is going to change the world, I have no doubt about that.

I found this poem and it kind of sums everything up. I am thankful for these past six months and so excited about the future with you. I love you so much, Will.

You are the poem
I dreamed of writing
the masterpiece
I longed to paint.
You are the shining star
I reached for In my
ever hopeful quest
for life fulfilled..
You are my child.
Now with all things
I am blessed.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Dear Will,

Eight years ago today, when you weren’t even a thought in my mind, something terrible happened in our world. We, as Americans, were attacked by terrorists. Life as I knew it then was to be changed forever. I remember exactly where I was that day, exactly what I was wearing, and exactly what I was doing. I was in 10th grade and absolutely nothing got finished in school for the rest of the day. All of my teachers had the TV turned onto the news and we watched over and over again as planes flew into the World Trade Center. I remember the first time I saw it on the news, it didn’t even cross my mind that someone would’ve done this to America purposely…I was sad that such a tragic accident had occurred. When I found out it wasn’t actually an accident and that terrorists from another country wanted to hurt our great nation, I was sad and scared.

I wish I could raise you in a world where people valued life. But sadly, even in America, that doesn’t happen. People brush off life and don’t look at it as a gift. They play God; they take lives away. And it breaks my heart. I want you to know what a precious, special thing life is, baby boy. I want you to value it, to cherish it, and to never, ever take one breath for granted. Right now, soldiers are a world away fighting for your right to live your life here in America. Fighting for your right to be free. Some day in the not too distant future, your Uncle might be over there fighting for you too. Please don’t forget this, Will. Don’t forget that men and women have given up their lives so you can have yours. When you think about that, please stop and take a moment to reflect. Take a moment to realize that even though we have the right to believe what we want in America, there are other countries where people do not.

I believe that God blessed your Daddy and I with your little life for a specific purpose. I believe that He has big plans for your little life. I believe that He wants to use you to change the world. Change it for the better; change it so others can realize the gift of life too. My prayer for you today is that you would listen to the gentle call of His voice and that you would go where He calls you. And maybe, just maybe, you can make such a difference in our world that eighty years from now there are no more wars and people don’t have to give their lives so others have a chance at freedom.

I love you Will and I am so thankful for the gift of you.