Monday, March 25, 2013

Dear Baby,

(originally written November 28, 2012)

Dear Baby,

Today I went to the doctor and got more blood drawn. I was a ball of nerves all day hoping and praying that my beta would be good. That you are still growing and that I might have a prayer of meeting you in August. They didn't make me wait all day; the nurse called at lunchtime and said that our numbers look fantastic! My first beta was 70 and we just needed it to double today. Well, you little overachiever, more than doubled. My HCG was 175 today! I almost cried with relief. I know there are no certain things, but I'm thankful that you're still here, you're still growing.

We get to 'meet' you on December 19th. That's 3 weeks away and I absolutely cannot wait. I am so thrilled to see you on the ultrasound. I pray that you are healthy. That's all I care about now; that you keep growing and that you're healthy and perfect. I know that God is knitting you together in my womb. I pray this week as your brain, spinal cord, and heart form that God would wrap you in his arms and carefully and artfully weave you together, leaving his signature fingerprints inside of you.

Your daddy and I have already begun dreaming about what your name might be. I think we both like Jackson a lot if you're a boy, but we're not settled on that. We've known for years that if you're a girl, you'll be Charlotte. But I've started doubting that lately. I've really begun to like the name Eliana. You see, Eliana, means 'My God has answered me,' in Hebrew. And that He has. I have prayed for you for many months. I've shed tears and cried out to God in desperation, praying that he would please grant me with my baby. All that waiting seems worth it now that you're growing.

I'm so excited for the coming months and weeks. I feel like a little bit of my worry has been eased. Please keep growing, little one. Be strong and know that you are loved; not only by your family, but also by your Creator, your God.

I love you.


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