Thursday, August 4, 2011

Inner Struggle

This morning, I had a battle with my mind. It's been a crazy week - evenings haven't been normal because we're looking to buy a second car (yay!) and either just Greg or all three of us have been out car shopping every night. My diet hasn't been as clean as I'd like it to be and my head is just all over the place right now. I feel a little out of control and I really don't like it...I like to be in control of everything, but especially my mind and body. Yeah, I'm a little type-A! I was crazy sore after my workout Monday, skipped my workout yesterday because I was still so sore and just wanted to do nothing but sleep this morning.

The alarm went off at 4:15am and I'm pretty sure I actually groaned. That's so not me. I *love* my daily workouts. I love getting my workout completed before most people are even out of bed for the's just the way I roll! But this morning it took every ounce of inner strength to swing my feet over the edge of the bed, brush my teeth, drag a brush through my hair, and jump in the car to get to the gym. I hated it for the first 10 minutes of intervals on the treadmill, did some ab-work, chatted with Ashley for a bit while on the stair master, hated it for the next 10 minutes while doing intervals on the spin bike, did some ab-work and left. It just wasn't my day apparently! But no matter what, I'm glad I got out of bed and went. Because there was a day in the not so distant past where I would have let my mood dictate what I did that day in regards to workouts and eating. I'm not that person anymore. I refuse to ever be that person again. No matter how out of control my world feels, eating clean and working out hard will always be a constant in my life.

"There is no finish line. It's a continuous journey and I'm always looking to push my limits."
Author unknown

This is me now. This is who I am and I won't change. I may have a bad day. A bad week. A bad month. But it's part of the journey. This is why I love eating clean - it's not a diet for me. And if I fall off the wagon, I can hop back on with no guilt. I love working out so hard that sweat burns my eyes. I get so many people who ask me what I'm training for...nothing! I'm training for me. I'm training to so I can do 6 pull-ups in a row for me. I'm training so I can do things that scare me. Even if I struggle with getting out of bed in the morning or hit the snooze button on my alarm three times in a row, I won't give up and I won't quit. Because this is my life; my journey. And I am going to be the fittest person I can be.

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